I’ve been reading back on a few of my blogs recently and I’ve realised they’re all just a bit too serious, so here’s a light list of five types of runners you get at races. I found these on the notes section of my phone (a dark place) and I thought it’d be a shame not to publish it;

  • 1. The “as long as I finish it”, “I’m going to take it easy today” guy

You get these people in all sports, but I feel in running it’s most common. Basically its someone who makes excuses before they’ve even started then ends up blitzing everyone. You’ll hear them at the start line saying someone along the lines of “I was up until four drinking last night, did a marathon on yesterday and broke my leg on Wednesday.” Okay, that last one was a bit of an exaggeration, but the point stands.

  • 2. The gizmo guy

You would think that a simple watch to keep track of your time would do it for people, but no. This person is looking at his watch one minute, all while changing the music to the next banger and monitoring his heart rate zone. This person definitely has a Strava branded toothbrush too.

  • 3. The running police

Jan’s a very nice woman, but as soon as she gets to the start line she turns into a mini dictator. BIKE! You overtake these people on a corner and they’re like “you could’ve killed me.” Okay so again maybe I’m taking a bit too far here, and I don’t know any runners called Jan, but you do get these people who get overly competitive. For example there was one race quite local to me where a runner pushed a cyclist into a bush because they were in their way.

  • 4. The runner who’s just a bit extra

The gizmo guy is one thing, but these people are sort of the opposite because they do things that should actually hinder them. Hastings 10K for example, and a guy I was running with for a large part of it basically ran in modified flip-flops. I know barefoot running is a thing too, but there’s a guy at cross country who does every race without shoes. Running through forests, over gravel and in puddles all while worrying someone’s going to step on you with their running spikes is a challenge in itself, so I commend these people.

  • 5. Yourself

I feel the person we get annoyed with the most is ourselves. That’s why I do these blogs really! I think my worst trait is needing the toilet, going, then needing it again ten minutes before the race starts. Then there’s the obvious, not hitting PB’s, getting pacing wrong etc. It’s easy to forget it should just be fun, so give yourself a pat on the back for lapping everybody on the couch.